Casey's plans!

Here I sit on the computer talking to my friend Lisa online (which is great because I don't get to talk to her much although of all my friends I have talked to her A LOT!) Well, I got an email from Jennifer asking about whether or not I'd changed my major and realized that I should just blog about that journey!

Many of you know that at first I really wanted to do psychology. I thought to myself, I am amazing at being able to really get into people's shoes and feel how they feel and know what to say that will help them, being a counselor must be my calling in life. Then I realized something else about that. I feel too much for people. I think I would go crazy if I tried to listen to people all day and help them because I would get MUCH too emotionally involved in their lives.

As many college students do, after I decided psychology isn't for me, I just didn't know anything, I kicked around about 15 ideas, economics, accounting, english literature, etc. etc.

After we got to Cairo, I was still going back and forth about whether or not I could do psychology and be psychologically healthy myself. Then I read this book about a child soldier and got really into the idea of doing peace studies and working for an NGO. But, and maybe some of you might be ashamed for me for this, living here I lost my faith in NGOs in general and the 3rd world. because as I've learned in the church and it applies to the world as well, people have to WANT to change. Otherwise it won't work it is just more imperialism, even if its done with the best intent, it just won't work.

At a loss again, I began to examine options to solve this conundrum I was having with choosing a major. I realized from tutoring in math how happy doing math made me and I thought maybe I'd major in that and be a teacher. But in cairo I have been teaching school and I think that Joe put it best when he was telling me the other day that I take things too personally to be a school teacher. He said if a 1st grade class can make me cry because they aren't listening... well, you know the rest. And I really think that he is right because even if I get some classes i love, there will always be those trial classes with the trial students and I couldn't imagine just dreading the kids, plus I wonder if I'd be a good mom if I had that job... because as it is, sometimes after the school day, I think to myself "if I ever see another child I'll just scream". Plus there are those days when you just don't feel like being around people and socializing very much and if you are a teacher those days aren't really allowed. Kudos to all you teachers out there, seriously! It is so emotionally draining for me.

So I think that I am going to go ahead and major in math, then get a job at a company, some sort of desk job and work my way up. I've never had too much trouble with my bosses liking me, they always seem to and in some jobs I've been offered promotions that I couldn't take, or similar such things. My current plan is to get my degree in math, just apply for a ton of things and see where I go from there, I like working in offices, although it is boring sometimes because you don't think about it when you go home, it is done, and you have a certain thing to do and you do it. That made me sound stupid, like I have no initiative which isn't true, I'd do managment and I think I'd like it if I had the opportunity, it's just a different kind of job to work in an office than directly with people.

See you all soon!